Sky UK TV Guide

06:00 11,
Entertainment Quiz show in which contestants barter with answer-selling traders to win a jackpot of £25,000, but must decide whether the sellers can be trusted. Hosted by Gethin Jones.

07:00 The Real A & E
Health Medics attend to a man who has broken his legs trying to jump over a stream, a motorcyclist who lost control of his bike on a bend, and a footballer who sustained an ankle injury during a match is airlifted to hospital.

08:00 Crash Test Dummies
Documentary The comedians find out what happens when a bus covered in bubble wrap is pushed off a cliff, and test whether Dickens or Shakespeare's literary work is more bulletproof. Plus, Steve Marsh swims with a shark.

09:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse
Science Richard Hammond puts human vomit under the microscope and Jon Tickle visits the pub - in the name of science - to see which hangover cures are the most effective. The team also investigates the age-old myth that eating chocolate causes spots.

10:00 Oops TV
Comedy Selection of video out-takes, sporting mishaps, home recordings, CCTV footage and internet broadcasts. Narrated by Justin Lee Collins.

10:30 Oops TV
Comedy Selection of video out-takes, sporting mishaps, home recordings, CCTV footage and internet broadcasts. Narrated by Justin Lee Collins.

11:00 Missing Mums: Lorraine Kelly Investigates
Factual

12:00 Don't Forget the Lyrics US
Ashley McCohn / Kristin Owsinski
Game show American version of the game show where contestants try to win a $1million cash jackpot by correctly singing the missing words to songs. Wayne Brady presents.

13:00 The Real A & E
Health A heart-attack victim requires the help of firefighters, doctors and climbing specialists when he becomes trapped in a tower in Warwick Castle.

14:00 Customs UK
Documentary Off Cornwall, the crew of the fast cutter Searcher decides to board a lone yacht coming from the Canaries, a frequent transit point for cocaine. Officers in Dover detect a mysterious shadow in a truck full of chipboard and in Bristol a man is caught carrying 5,000 cigarettes back from Turkey.

14:30 Customs UK
Documentary The Specialist Rummage Team discovers a ton of cannabis hidden in a truck in Dover, and in Cornwall a ship's captain lies to officers of the cutter Searcher about the number of cigarettes he has on board. At Gatwick, a suspected heroin smuggler is subjected to an intimate search. Narrated by Jon Rand.

15:00 Liza and Huey's Pet Nation
Nature Liza Tarbuck teams up with Fun Lovin' Criminals frontman Huey Morgan for a celebration of all things animal-related, including home video footage, studio-based strands and celebrity guests.

16:00 Malcolm in the Middle
Ida's Boyfriend
Sitcom Ida (Cloris Leachman) announces she is getting married to a rich Chinese man she met on a cruise - but the family is not convinced her intentions toward her fiance are honourable. Meanwhile, Malcolm tries to hide his tongue piercing from his parents.

16:30 Malcolm in the Middle
Softball
Sitcom Malcolm has a run-in with Lois when he joins the Lucky Aide softball team. Reese tries to beat Francis's record of collecting toilet seats from a junkyard, while Hal mistakenly applies to join the CIA. Starring Frankie Muniz and Jane Kaczmarek.

17:00 Oops TV
Comedy Selection of video out-takes, sporting mishaps, home recordings, CCTV footage and internet broadcasts. Narrated by Justin Lee Collins.

18:00 Stargate SG-1
Gemini
Sci-fi The Replicator Fifth discovers a means of countering the Asgard's new weapon, prompting a duplicate of Colonel Carter to approach Stargate Command for help in defeating their mutual foe. Richard Dean Anderson and Amanda Tapping star.

19:00 Stargate SG-1
Prometheus Unbound
Sci-fi Members of the crew are taken by surprise when the Prometheus is stolen while responding to a distress call, and amid all the confusion Daniel Jackson is taken captive. Richard Dean Anderson and Amanda Tapping star.

20:00 The Simpsons
The Day the Violence Died
Animation Bart and Lisa seek legal help for a down-and-out man who claims to have devised the Itchy and Scratchy Show, only to have his idea stolen. The case is settled and justice done - but the outcome has an unforeseen effect on the programme's future. Featuring the guest voice of Kirk Douglas.

20:30 The Simpsons
Homer's Odyssey
Animation Homer is fired from the power plant and becomes so dejected that he contemplates suicide - until a near-tragic road accident makes him realise his purpose in life is to make Springfield safer.

21:00 The Fast and the Furious
Film Delivering exactly what its title promises, this pedal-to-the-metal thriller from director Rob Cohen has fabulous customised cars, scantily clad babes, moody hunks, bare-knuckle brawls and a boot full of turbo-charged stunts to spare. All this and Pitch Black's Vin Diesel, the baddest, meanest and coolest action man to emerge from the American B-movie in years. He's the champion of LA's illegal street racing subculture, where gangs organise cash-prize races between souped-up cars. But are his crew of tuned-up misfits, including girlfriend Michelle Rodriguez, behind a spate of recent truck hijackings? That's what cop Paul Walker goes undercover to find out, falling in love with Diesel's sister Jordana Brewster in the process. Cohen's fast-paced, stylish direction pushes the hot and heavy excitement to the maximum, making the breakneck auto races, high-octane hijacks and crash-bang cop chases absolutely electrifying to watch.

23:05 Vet Adventures
Peru
Factual Vet Luke Gamble continues his journey in Peru, helping a dog clinic in the heart of the rainforest catch a canine in urgent need of medical attention. He also takes a trip down the Amazon river, where he sees monkeys, macaws, buffalos and tropical maggots.