Sky UK TV Guide

06:00 The Real A & E
Health A man is rushed into the A&E department after shooting himself in the back, and a car enthusiast is involved in a four-vehicle collision on the M1. Elsewhere, an air ambulance is required when a 74-year-old is feared to have broken her neck.

07:00 Crash Test Dummies
Documentary Comedians Steve Marsh and Dan Wright present another round of mayhem as they visit a scrap yard, and have a game of car conkers. Plus, a race to see who is the quickest at destroying a vehicle.

08:00 Brainiac: Science Abuse
Science Jon Tickle and Richard Hammond set about answering the important questions of whether gunpowder is faster than a Brainiac and what happens when dynamite is put in a microwave.

09:00 11,
Comedy Selection of amusing video out-takes, sporting mishaps, home recordings, CCTV footage and internet broadcasts. Narrated by Justin Lee Collins.

09:30 5,
Comedy Selection of hilarious video out-takes, sporting mishaps, home recordings, CCTV footage and internet broadcasts. Narrated by Justin Lee Collins.

10:00 Missing Mums: Lorraine Kelly Investigates
Factual The presenter tries to find a mother-of-four who has been missing since 2003, and a woman who disappeared in 2008.

11:00 Wedding SOS
A Shotgun Divorce?
Documentary Following engaged couples in the run-up to their big day as they cope with budgets, massive to-do lists and last-minute hiccups. The bride and groom reveal how they deal with the stress of planning a wedding, while experts look at how their problems can be solved.

11:30 Adoption Diaries
Glenn and Jolie
Factual Documentary following couples who are desperate to have children any way they can.

12:00 The Real A & E
Health A 55-year-old man has the image of an air ambulance tattooed on his chest to show his gratitude to the team that saved both him and his son on separate occasions. Plus, a boy is rushed to A&E after a motorcycle crash.

13:00 Malcolm in the Middle
Ida's Boyfriend
Sitcom Ida (Cloris Leachman) announces she is getting married to a rich Chinese man she met on a cruise - but the family is not convinced her intentions toward her fiance are honourable. Meanwhile, Malcolm tries to hide his tongue piercing from his parents.

13:30 Malcolm in the Middle
Softball
Sitcom Malcolm has a run-in with Lois when he joins the Lucky Aide softball team. Reese tries to beat Francis's record of collecting toilet seats from a junkyard, while Hal mistakenly applies to join the CIA. Starring Frankie Muniz and Jane Kaczmarek.

14:00 Liza and Huey's Pet Nation
Nature Liza Tarbuck teams up with Fun Lovin' Criminals frontman Huey Morgan for a celebration of all things animal-related, including home video footage, studio-based strands and celebrity guests.

15:00 Stargate SG-1
It's Good to Be King
Sci-fi When the Goa'uld tries to enslave a planet for the second time, SG-1 steps in to help. Only then does the team discover the world's ruler is actually former NID colonel Harry Maybourne. With Tom McBeath, Richard Dean Anderson and Amanda Tapping.

16:00 Stargate SG-1
Full Alert
Sci-fi Political discrepancies forge a rift between the American government and Russia, and Colonel Chekov brings O'Neill bad news - security has been compromised. Richard Dean Anderson and Amanda Tapping star.

17:00 Malcolm in the Middle
Lois's Sister
Sitcom Lois's younger sister, Susan, lavishes expensive gifts on the children during a visit, but everyone is mystified as to the reason for her generosity - until she announces she needs a kidney transplant. Comedy, guest starring Laurie Metcalf (Roseanne).

17:30 Malcolm in the Middle
Malcolm Dates a Family
Sitcom Lois boycotts her local pizza restaurant after discovering its management enforces a 15 per cent surcharge. Malcolm meets a pretty girl but gets on better with her family, while Otto suggests Francis should hire an assistant. Guest starring Sara Paxton (The Last House on the Left) and Kenneth Mars (The Producers).

18:00 Oops TV
Comedy Selection of video out-takes, sporting mishaps, home recordings, CCTV footage and internet broadcasts. Narrated by Justin Lee Collins.

18:30 The Simpsons
Lisa the Drama Queen
Animation Lisa lets her imagination run wild when she makes a new friend and they create a magical kingdom together called Equalia, complete with characters and plotlines. But they find themselves facing a nightmare when the boundaries between reality and fantasy are blurred. With the voice of Emily Blunt.

19:00 The Simpsons
Homer the Moe
Animation Moe refurbishes his bar, turning it into a swanky establishment for Springfield's beautiful people. Unfortunately, he alienates all his regulars in the process - so Homer begins selling booze from his garage. With the guest voices of REM.

19:30 The Simpsons
Chief of Hearts
Animation Homer is sentenced to community service following an incident involving a bank and a toffee apple. Chief Wiggum oversees his punishment and it is not long before the pair strike up an unlikely friendship, but the honeymoon period is brought to an abrupt end during a showdown with mob boss Fat Tony.

20:00 10,
Health A diabetic has half his leg amputated after finding a tiny spot on his toe, while a birthday weekend walk ends in disaster when a mother slips in the mud.

20:30 10,
Documentary Following Britain's specialist clean-up teams in their daily war against the country's grime.

21:00 Lie to Me
Darkness and Light
Drama Cal takes on the case of runaway teenager Molly Dawkins, who has become involved in the world of pornography. He tracks down several adult film companies before confronting Molly's father, who denies harming her, but when Lightman finally finds her drugged and naked in a studio, she reveals the repressed memory that made her abscond in the first place.

22:00 NCIS: Los Angeles
Full Throttle
Drama The team investigates when a naval officer involved in illegal street-racing is murdered, and finds he was carrying classified Navy equipment. Callen attends traffic school.

23:00 NCIS: Los Angeles
Blood Brothers
Drama A Marine sergeant is murdered by a ruthless gang, leaving the team suspecting the officer could have been using his position to illegally import weapons. Sam goes undercover to find the truth when they learn the victim gave up his combat post to take care of his younger brother. Crime drama, starring Chris O'Donnell.